As I watch the snow falling down in buckets, and the estimated snow totals continuing to rise to as high as 13 inches throughout Northeast Ohio, I find myself daydreaming of an alternate universe.
No, not of a universe without snow. It's integral here.
It's Sunday as well in this alternate universe, and it's the morning of the AFC Championship Game. In this universe — because there are infinite universes, I'm 99 percent sure this is possible in at least one of them — the Cleveland Browns are not only playing in the game, but they are hosting it.
That's right, in this world, there will actually be a playoff game at the Browns' stadium.
Ever since the Browns returned to Cleveland in 1999, and especially during the heated debate over moving to Brook Park and building an even more cursed domed stadium, we've heard about the elements creating a natural advantage for the team. What opposing team would possibly want to come to Cleveland for a snowy, brutally cold playoff game right off the shores of Lake Erie?
In our current reality, it seems unlikely that'll ever even be the case, but in an alternate world of our own making, there's nothing better than imagining a late-January blizzard affecting the conditions for a game with a trip to the Super Bowl on the line. Hell, I'd even jump at the chance to shovel snow off the seats for minimum wage.
I get lost in thought staring out the window, envisioning the NFL Films footage we'd get from a snow globe AFC title game in Cleveland. Playoff football at its cinematic finest.
I imagine there has to be an alternate universe SOMEWHERE where not only are we treated to a game like this, but the Browns even win it and appear in their first-ever Super Bowl. Winning it might be too much to ask even of the infinite outcomes the universe provides, but a snowy AFC Championship would be unforgettable in and of itself.
If the Cleveland Browns want to make this happen in this reality, they only have a few more seasons to do it. After that, the organization joins the growing legion of NFL teams playing in sanitized, indoor environments that eliminate one of the greatest aspects of professional football.
What's even the point of January football if I can't see the breath of linemen, the gigantic sideline jackets, the frozen field, the massively bundled-up fans, a snowy field, constant references by announcers to the conditions and how hard it will be for the quarterbacks and kickers, and those wonderful psychos playing through it all in short sleeves?